Bad Trader? Opinions?

[starslayer]

Im looking for some input/opinions here.

I had a deal with a high rating member here (300+). They have recieved my items, but I have not received theirs. It has been going on over 3 weeks- no box. If he sent Priority- it should be here way before this. We agreed to using a DC #. I kept asking for a DC # when the box was late , & they cant find it.
I got a little annoyed when I saw my messages were read, but I get no reply. I had to give a warning- 7 days to give a DC #, pay me what the items are worth(a whopping $25) or return my items & reimburse my shipping costs. His choice.
I dont think its fair that I be out the money i paid for shipping. If he had a DC #, thats proof something was sent. Id just eat the loss & declare it bad luck, considering his high rating.
I have since gotten some harrassing messages from him.Wise-guy messages of repeatedly asking if I received the returned items yet- when he hasnt even shipped. He's also holding my good reference "ransom" until i recieve my returned items. He has been unapologetic & rude.

Im giving him 7 days.

Im deciding on whether to give him a negative reference & possibly a BTR thread- depending on his actions.

What do you think??

[reegsk]

Well, the best guideline I've seen is that it all depends upon your experience. If you feel your experience was bad enough to warrant a neg and a BTR, it's your prerogative. Personally, I send the DC # when I get back from the post office specifically because I tend to lose little slips of paper. Once you send it, all you have to do is open your Sent folder for reference.

Having a high rating does grant you certain priviledges and liberties. I tend to be less on guard with a high rating trader, because they've proven their reliability time and time again. But a high rating doesn't give you the right to be a jerk or fail in your responsibility to honor a trade agreement and seek a positive resolution when you have failed to come through on yoru end. It certainly doesn't give you immunity from the consequences of said shortcomings. To me, it doesn't matter how high your feedback is. If I have an experience negative enough, I would rock a negative ref. Considering the person's rating is so high, I would probably post a BTR too. They may just be having a bad month, but if somone see a 300+ rating with one red reference, they're probably going to wonder why, and having the exchange on file would answer their questions.

Lastly, I haven't seen the exchange, so I'm just going off of your summation of events. If I saw the PM exchange and read something differently, I would, of course, revise my stance, But as I see it now, that's how I'd react.

[starslayer]

Its a combination of things- the guys extremely poor attitude, no DC #, delay in replying, holding my reference hostage, & expecting me to eat the shipping charges.
Im going to give him the 7 days to cool down & do the right thing.

[s_o_r_r_o_w]

You can approach MM or porkuslime (or for that matter any of the staff) on this too--pass some details over, and maybe they can help "encourage" your partner to come up with the DC.

[Ironhide]

Well, you've given him a deadline. As far as I am concerned if he hasn't done anything by the end of the deadline, post a BTR. His reference rating shouldn't matter in the decision to post a BTR. A bad trader is a bad trader.

[starslayer]

Am I being unreasonable asking for my shipping back? It really got me angry that he wont give me a good ref until this is over. He received his end of the trade long ago.

[flagg07]

No, you are not being unreasonable about the shipping refund.

Mistakes happen and real life can be a PITA. I'm confident that 99% of people have had legitimate somethings happen that caused them to back out or blunder a trade in some way. I expect an established trader to man up and deal with it.

Lost the DC? Contact your partner and tell them BEFORE they have to ask.
Couldn't make it to the PO for whatever reason? Contact your partner and tell them BEFORE they have to ask.
Something within or outside your control happens... Contact your partner and tell them BEFORE they have to ask.

I can forgive a goof, but I am not understanding when I have to pull the info out of the goofer. Ratings only show past trades and that he is reliable. For whatever reason, your trade was different and that's just as important to annotate. Didn't DropZone have triple digits?

Giving it some time might help cooler heads prevail though I'd still consider it a piss poor experience.

[JohnHwangBT]

I think you're doing the right thing. You're giving plenty of time, and have been super patient.

No stuff within 7 days, post that BTR.

[fitterpete]

He must not have read the trade rules you had in your sig line earlier this week Starslayer
Seriously a guy with that kind of rating and you have no communication I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt that something went wrong at home.BUT IN THIS CASE he should know better and it sounds like he's being a tool.So with a rating that high if he doesn't come thru by your deadline he knows what he's got coming.
If the guy was a 118 or something you could cut him some slack
Pete

[starslayer]

The guy has a higher rating than me. We'll just have to see. I'll keep you posted.

[Stanislav]

Well, that narrows it down quite a bit. Hope everything works out.

I have had my difficulties in the past, luckily never one that affected a trade THAT much. You've given a deadline, so I mean, you should be the one doing the driving in the bus.

I had one recently with a pretty high rating that just kind of blew me off when I voiced my concerns. I didn't neg ref him, but I did give him a neutral. I think he kind of blew that one off too. You do what you can.

Rich

[Dakkar98]

Well, that narrows it down quite a bit. Hope everything works out.

I had one recently with a pretty high rating that just kind of blew me off when I voiced my concerns. I didn't neg ref him, but I did give him a neutral. I think he kind of blew that one off too. You do what you can.

Rich

After a little deductive reasoning, I think SS is dealing with the same guy.
If it is the same guy, I think he is having a bad spell.
Check his most recent feedback, you'll see what I mean.
It's very similar to what you left him.

[starslayer]

Yup - you got it.

Is it within the rules for him to hold my reference hostage like that? He has admitted getting my items with no problems. I know the rules cant cover everything- but its a real $%$@@!!!! move on his part. If he gives me a negative it will certainly be undeserved & in retaliation.

[porkuslime]

Is it within the rules for him to hold my reference hostage like that? He has admitted getting my items with no problems. I know the rules cant cover everything- but its a real $%$@@!!!! move on his part. If he gives me a negative it will certainly be undeserved & in retaliation.

You NEVER have to give anyone a reference. It is not required by the site rules! It is courtesy and all, but not Required. Under Rule #11...

YOU ARE NOT REQUIRED TO LEAVE FEEDBACK. If you don't, you can't really complain when someone says "this guy's a jerk - he never left me any feedback!" Should you just forget and someone leaves you what you consider to be an unjust reference, please see the 30-day feedback appeal rule below.

[starslayer]

Ok, im not really worried about that- its just a low-down move. But if he tries to give me a negative- its on LIKE DONKEY-KONG!!