I might be a douche -or- Did I do the right thing?

[EVIL INC]

Let me say first that I am glad it worked out in the end.
Second, I would say that you did indeed do the right thing. The fault appears to be on the other end and in poor business practices on thier part. It would not have been hard for them to communicate with you or give you what you asked for. He might say that he was out of the country but I'm sure his wife has access to his e-mail and could have spoken to you or responded to you. Likewise, if they are going to take a bit to send, then they need to communicate this to you beforehand in order to keep you appraised. I know that if my shipping out is going to be delayed, I will do so.
True it may have caused them "family trouble" but no more so then they would have already had. If they claim this caused them trouble, then the trouble was already there and its easier to blame you to make themselves feel better. Likewise the bank would have only denied them access to the amount owed to you. This is money that they would not have had access to before the deal so it made them no worse off than they were before. Even if it was, it was thier own poor business practices that put them in that situation.
Dont lose any more sleep, you have done nothing wrong.

[s_o_r_r_o_w]

Douche status confirmed!

You're not a douche. His bad commo remains. Plus--what was the shipping date on the box?

[69oddbitz]

Yeah, you're not a douche for wanting to protect yourself. After reading the infamous "trader" thread... I think you did a-okay. The customs slip he sent you a pic of... did it have a postal stamp on it? I mean here stateside, I can fill out a customs form, put all the info on it... but if it doesn't have the US postal stamp on it... then it didn't go through. Also, I try to take a picture now, of any package that might come into question... in the hands of the postal people. Usually behind the counter with other accepted packages, but readily identifiable. I figure that at least helps make the case that I DID send the package. I also usually take pictures of what I send packaged up so they can see how I packaged it... so at least they know and I have a little more ground to stand on if they say they got a phone book, and not what I was supposed to send.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Especially if you paid... he had an obligation be in better contact and provide better information - your timeline shows he was stalling - it's up to him to prove otherwise. And, you did get your package... but he never proved he wasn't stalling.

[thor867]

i understand the problem , and have had a few semi bad transactions over the years.
this is why everyone should find out any problems with a trade or sale before you enter in it.
and i will be a jerk for a min and say this seems to happen with the fantasy and sifi stuff more than not.
ive been in the hobby for 26 years and been a painter for almost that long. have done several hundred trades/sales in the historical world taking personal checks and partial payments mainly from members of hmgs and never had a problem as this market tends to be older folks with morales and pride in thier word. sorry if i upset anyone.
but if all care about how they wish to be treated then they will do the same.

so please all if the person does not have item in hand with full details ,and does not respond to you dont send the money